God bless me this 2016, I come do new year resolution say; I go dey pay my yearly house rent instead of to dey pay the thing quarterly. My landlord no dey send sha, as long as say you no wan show am say you too smart, you no get wahala.
When I wake up come check wether the money wey my madam pay me still dey under my pillow, e no lose. since wey man pikin dey hustle, na for only this 2016 na this yours truly come go hammer waiter job, but the place big o, so them dey pay me 10k. Dem gimme 15k this month sake of say, I no start on time last month, na 'm make my pepper come increase. Oya back to tory proper.
I say use my hand clean my face this morning, open pillow come collect the 15k on top of the mattress this early morning, I come see say Oga Landlord don sitdown on top of the block wey dey for the middle of our compound, with 'm long chewing stick, maybe e think say I wan dodge am this morning. Na so I take my Church mind go meet am for where him him and 'm chewing stick dey fight 'm brown teeth. So I come call am, "Baba Good morning. I say make I kukuma come greet you and give you my house rent." See Boss na, I don dey feel important because say the man no know say na one full year yours truly go pay.
Oga landlord just throway laugh o, come ask me say, "My daughter, na how much you wan pay?" As the intelligent babe wey I be na, I come use my hand calculate am for am say, "Baba, one thousand five hundred naira times twelves months na eighteen thousand naira o, but na fifteen thousand naira I get, I go balance you three thousand naira next month."
I never even talk finish before Oga landlord provoke, come dey parra, dey halla, sotey all our tenant dem come show face dey ask me say, "Nenye na wetin na?" I tire o, mouth even no gree me talk because I no do Oga anything o, na that time mama Bisi come sla[p me o, sake of say I don make her Oga vex. E come tell me say, "Sisi Nene, you dey crase for head, go tell your papa say na 'm hut for una village na 'm be one thousand five hundred naira because your papa no fit build house for Lagos." The man come dey halla, "Rice jump from ten thousand go enter fifteen thousand, oil escalate two hundred go enter three hundred, pure water add ten naira, pepper add money, even people wey dey sell for bar don add money, you no hear say dollar increase? Abi na my house na 'm be mumu not to increasion." Mama Bisi come dey nod say she agree. Baba come call other people, even Lazarus wey dey do booku booku, dem force show face. Oga landlord say e call us for meeting o.
"My people, if I collect one thousand five hundred naira from ina hand as rent, I no go fit chop." Baba talk, like say e wan thief and run. "As everything don add money so, and God make my Papa gimme this house so, una think say na me be mumu wey no go add something abi?" e come dey look our face o, dey smile, before Lazarus wey be like say e dey read and wan go back come ask am say, "Oga, how much do you want us to pay now?" compound people come chorus, "Yes!" even mama Bisi no gree Lazarus to talk finish na 'm she vomit, "5k." na that time we know say Oga Landlord and 'm wife don plan a,m finish. Lazarus shout, "5k!" and mama Bisi answer, "Yes." come hiss dey go their room.
My money still dey my hand o, people dey beg Landlord say the money too add na, Papa Ntube come say, since e don pay, e go just pack wen 'm rent expire. Landlord come dey laugh people wey come beg, e tell papa Ntube say e go balance am three thousand five hundred for eleven months. "Papa Ntube," Landlord call; "You go balance me three thousand five hundred naira for eleven months because say you pay quick, you hear me! but other people go dey pay monthly because say, as dollar dey add, una rent dey add too, that one na una punishment sake of say, una no pay on time. If you no fit pay, pack your load and go!"
Haba! na me add dollar? Wetin concern dollar concern house rent? Baba God, Lasgidi don finish me o.
Wetin una advise make I do as I still hold this money, make I pay abi make I report am? I no get anywhere to pack go. I hear Lazarus tell Papa Ntube say, dollar don dey reduce sha, but I no sure say Oga Landlord go gree.
Unu Good morning o.
