Nigerian Instagram Big Girls - Nenye's Chronicles

Okay children of God,  people have been disturbing me to join Instagram,  am officially there.  Check and add me now @nenye_nwobu.  

So here is the problem,  am getting sick of the Instagram stuff, I love love the business side of it  and the easy brand connections you get with your crafts,  but never with the naira runs girls. Joinin me as I explain my Instagram journey with you. Sometimes,  it can be intimidating if you can't do the big girl stunt that wants to sell the body market,  follow me and enjoy your installation life dear fellow. 

This is the ideal face of Instagram,  you just have to be idle,  snapping and posting pictures when you are chilling and stuffs. 

They you should have a golden thing your longthroat followers should wish for. 

So naira Instagram celebrities have this games on,  if you want to be an instant celeb on Instagram,  follow these rules. Some people are real but fake ones abound,  oya! Let's be fake for once

BLEACHING

If you are lucky to be fair then kiss your mouth a happy congratulations. When I say fair, I just mean fair like Sarah Ofili kinda fairness.

Like this

If you no fair you are out of the game so stop and change your style. You see this fair, bleaching cream cannot buy it; just see the scret.

With this injection, whitenicious is a learner

Glutathione will give you the effect no cream will give you, most cream sellers use this. So beware. If you are an instagod wanna be, this. Is your clue.

Before

After

Once you are fair,  naija guys and even Oyingbo people go follow you, you let the game begin; rule number one is fairness. 

SKIMPY IS YOUR WEARS

Insta big girls wear skimpy wears and are ready to borrow to keep to standard. If you are not bouyant enough or into the borrowing game, gerrara here.

BORROWING SPIRIT/CREDIT FACILITIES

BORROWING BAG AND SHOE

BORROWING HOUSE

Fix your nails on credit

Buy or rent nice shades

Rent the Rolex or borrow

Controversy from borrowing made us know some hot Instagram babes, from borrowing of wigs by Venita Akpofure and her fellow video vixen to borrowing of clothes and all that, even a once T actress is not left out of this drama. Even one Olori suffered from this scandal, hence making her popular.

Photoshop/Surgery

You see,  you have to look great,  sometimes  your makeup artist can do some miracles,  just do the tricks.

The highest of them highest even has suffered this fate. You have to pay the best of editors or learn editing to stand the good looks standard. You should learn to edit your body flaws; wrinkles, spots, pimples and stretch marks away. If you think photoshop is just too stressful, then consider surgery. Instagram is no child's game.

SHOW OFF

OMG I like your breast

OMG I love your phone! 

Wow! Can I just like your food? 

Is this iPhone or blackberry please? 

Nice wine

Your shoe is great! I love your every post

Show shoes, gadgets and fine abodes and wanna be's go follow you bomber to bomber.

NEVER BE FOLLOWED OR FOLLOWED YOUR FAMILY MEMBER

If there is anybody that will fall your hand,  na your siblings,  you can't be tush while your sis is a kpako; so to avoid stories that touch,  let them not be I the follow league so people won't trace you there.

ATTACK A CELEB OR FEEL BETRAYED

Babes just have to go to show and try their possible best to snap with a star and tag them when you post at least, if not just pick a quarrel with one of them. How did we know Edible catering and Uju Stella? Give them "Naija" instead of, "London Fever." And have everyone go to check out who you really are. 

CHANGE YOUR NAME AND PROFILE

How many followers do you intend to achieve by answering, Ukasiko Maoyedinka? Or Ebubechukwu Chimamkpa Eroh, a Waiter at Aunty Dodo Restaurant. You are on your own buddy. Better write, Nancy Elma, Hostess at Dodo Edible Stores. Be tush for Christ sake and have a great Insta life ahead. 

Gigabyte/Data Mission

Okay, after paying to snap last week and getting twenty likes, you want to wait to save another money to snap for next three months? Who want to wait for you when there are other babes with the same ambition. My dear, if you wan come this world, come prepared. I no say make you join runs O.

Be Successful

If you are already a role model, you have got nothing to worry about, just your works is okay to speak for you unless you want to be lesser than yourself. Congratulations. At this stage in your life,  you don't pull stunts to be followed.  Your stunts have followed people.
                                     
                                                          See life o

I hope you like this post,  or tell me the topic you think is so pressing to discuss.  Have a lovely day.  I love you all.