Hilarious - How to Sight a wicked Bride

Okay! I just want to do this one before I go for a wedding in six days time, I don't want anybody to accuse me. It's just a creative post right? Now am happy!

A wicked bride is called ajo-nwanyi; a bad woman, but then, what can man do? Man has to love a woman or better still, God has destined you to end up with her probably. After attending so many wedding ceremonies, I present to you clues on how to sight a wicked bride on that big day because ha! The earlier you know and keep off her marriage business, the better for you. Enjoy.

HER WEDDING GOWN

Ha! Do you know that chapter in the book of Proverbs that describe how a bad woman deceives the men of the world with her apparel? Yes! Her gown is wow! Talk of the town, outstanding and out of this world. She knows the fashion world too much. The priest may even commend her angelic wear. But then this bride is, "all knowing."

HER PRE-WEDDING PICTURE

o Time o, na my wedding be dis eh!Add caption

HER BRIDESMAID COLOUR AND MATERIAL AS AGAINST HERS

Her bridesmaids clothes are hilarious, she made it obvious that she is the bride so they can't steal her shine. A rough seat can tear the material used in making their clothes and their clothes are usually made of brown colours. They invite their village belles instead of friends as bridesmaid, all eyes on her.

HER HUSBANDS SIZE AND OUTLOOK

Babes the day is not for you alone. I no wan laugh but then, the husband to be looks like a stick, a house help inside a coat and sad. All wedding budget may have been used to buy just her attire while she ignored that of her groom. It's a pity.

SHE COMES WITH HER OWN RULES

1. Don't take pictures

2. Don't record nothing

3. Don't eat more than a plate

4. No gift no souvenir

HER BODY SIZE

Slim people are wicked but then the fatter ones are epic, fat and consuming. By mere looking at her, you know her groom and family members are scared of her. Who remembers Jude and Ify's cartoon in Punch Newspaper where ify sits and watch with a cane while Jude pounds the yam. That's her.

HER MOTHERS EYESHADOW

Her mothers eyebrow and shadow is powerfully scary, you don't dare make any comment about her daughter or else #lipsealed# You can tell from her eye shadow that she came prepared to deal with her daughters enemies.

SHE PICKS HER MONEY

She trust no one but herself, not even her hubby.

FOOD TYPE

Instead of cupcakes, they will slice bread cake in trays and still tell you the one to pick. Her Ushers are bullies and her hubby is a puppy. You either eat white rice or moi-moi. Better still, your clothe determines the food you deserve to eat. 

SHE GIVES THE TRAIN LAME POSES

If you see the train of a wicked bride, you just hold your laughter so that the mother doesn't get to you. Over sabi dey worry the pose. LMAO

MUSIC TYPE

The kind of music you hear represents triumph over enemies; all the people that says she won't marry him have been put to shame. "His My Life," is her theme music for the day; like she is working at Ray Power FM. "Matching Along with Jesus" instead of matching along with her husband follows suit, then her final song says, " Go and tell it on the Mountain, over the hill, everywhere! Go and tell it on the mountain..... Sister Bose is wedding today.



Una well done o, you can now comment. It's not been easy trying to fix that comment thing. Thanks a lot for your encouragements, Happy Sunday.